Brotherhood.

I have spent 7 years in the Marine Corps and learned this: you can have every opportunity to be a part of the group identity, to contribute, to engage, and to grow; and unless you choose to take that step, the group identity will always evade you. I have watched Marines, good men and solidly built moral people, fail and fall by the wayside simply because they could not grasp their need to choose to be a part of the brotherhood we as Marines purport to champion. We consider ourselves a band of brothers, the elite, the few, the proud. You stand on the yellow footprints as shaggy-headed kids and march across the parade deck 3 months later with a haircut and a new suit and can have learned nothing if you never see the necessity to BE a part of the group. To be one of the few. There will never ever be a time where your presence in a group is not your choice, even in bootcamp. Brotherhood isn't thrust upon you.

The only other place where I have seen this decision be made is in relation to religion. If you consider your religious affiliation to be much like your political affiliation, then by all means, put your check in the box and go home to drink your beer. However, if you intend to live out whatever creed to which you adhere, it is required of you that you choose to be a member. You can bring your 10% check to church every week, and you can sing the hymns, and you can send your kid to the Sunday School program and still choose to remain apart. The decision wherein you place yourself as a part of the union of souls within that space is what makes you a member. Religion itself has very little to do with the actual content of the message. If you consider everything that is taught in religious textbooks (with a few notable and pretty self-explanatory exclusions), any decision making process can be made easier by simply regarding yourself as part of the brotherhood. If you place yourself within the group and reconsider your impending decisions, the right answer becomes abundantly clear. In any situation.

There is a bible verse I have read that, paraphrased, says when a few people are gathered together in the name of and for the purpose of praising God, God himself will be there among them. This is not to say that all you have to do is show up. Naturally, since God can't help but love his creations he will meet you more than halfway. But consider this. Spirituality itself is created simply by the existence of a common goal. If a member of your group has held himself apart from the group, the effect is felt as a detractor in an almost palpable way. If all it takes is to just insist that you are present, that your mind and heart are engaged, why NOT claim your place in the brotherhood?

Nobody can force you to be a contribution. It's just not possible. Contributing your life and experience is a choice. And it's a conscious choice. Nothing about being a member of the group is intuitive or understood or implied. It is so simple to stand apart and judge people based on issues that really have very little bearing on the actual beating heart of that group, their collective consciousness. It is so much more important to be of one mind with other people, because when that happens, something amazing takes place. And unless you've surrendered how "cool" you think you are to be a part of it, you can never and will never understand what it really means to be a part of a real brotherhood. And a brotherhood like that realizes and recognizes the value of each person, of each part, and of each individuals value in that group. But when you join hands with the people who have committed to growth together and to growth individually and equally, your contribution towards both of those ends becomes ultimately more clear and more potent.

It's Christmas day. Merry Christmas. I ask you that this time, don't just sit with your family and plug into your phone. Be a part of it. Give up trying to be whatever it is you are trying to be, and instead appreciate your family for who they are. You don't have to be religious to understand that something happens in that moment that transcends just the normal experience. Brotherhood isn't about being together. It's about being. Together.

Back on the air.

Alright, so there is only one reason I really have a blog, as of now: I'm lazy. I mean, that's pretty much it. This thing is much easier to update than writing a million emails to people who are wondering what's going on with me and how my endeavors are developing.

Let me back up. I have applied to school. At long last, I have applied to college(read, university). 8 years later. The schools to which I have applied are, in no particular order: The Royal Conservatory of Scotland in Glasgow; the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England; the Royal College of Music in London; and the Royal Academy of Music, also in London. These four are some of the most prestigious conservatories in the UK for sure, and possibly also in the world. The Royal Academy's entrance paperwork required me to date my education back 15 years. As a result, the last month or so have been a flurry of paperwork, composition, keyboard skills, and stress. Also in this mix has been no small amount of excitement. I am going to England. I'm not sure how to get there or what I'm going to do once I'm there, but I am going. Big ol' bucket list check.

Right, so that said, my first interview this morning. It started off terrifically. I had my computer all set up, my notebook out, my pencil sharp, my mind ready. I had an appointment for 16.30 GMT, so naturally, I didn't check the time difference. "Yeah, it's what, 6 hours?" So I get my things together and sit down and check on the Googles. It's a 5 hour difference, so I had to ice my kicker. I sat down in my room trying to make myself not go nuts, while still waiting for an entire hour.

I received an email at 10:30 EST with a six-note tonerow to be used as the basis for a duet for any two instruments and ten 50-second long sample tracks to which I was supposed to listen and make "notes", according to the instructions. Since I am a fan of the "Guess the Composer" game already, I sat down with the tonerow and began writing, considering myself to be pretty good at identifying music by ear. It turned into a pretty basic 4-phrase duet for horn and oboe, based loosely on A. Ish. It took about 20 minutes of floundering around before the key and the progression made any sense, but once I got my thoughts together, it flowed together pretty well. I left myself 15 minutes or so to listen to the samples and do some quick identifying/note-taking. Every indication I had received had led me to believe that they were less concerned with the right answer and more concerned with my perspective.

The interview itself was less awkward than I thought it'd be. There were three men crowded around the computer hoping to get a better view and be able to hear. We "dispensed with the necessary pleasantries" to borrow a colloquialism, and began working through the samples. I will say that, in my opinion, I did quite well. There were two samples that I was, apparently, the first on the day to correctly identify (Sibelius' Symphony No. 5, final movement; and something for clarinet, strings, and harpsichord by Giorgyi Ligeti). Brag complete. We briefly discussed the duet I had written and the began talking about my own music and the goals I have as a composer. It was, all in all, a very positive experience. They were relaxed and laughed at a few of the things I had said, and were very understanding about my limitations currently because of my military experience.

All this is to say, that I have interview for the Royal Academy of Music. I'll take a certain amount of self-satisfaction in that. They usually send out results within a few weeks, hopefully before Christmas. We will see. Now it's on to the rest of the day for me. Our Christmas concert is tonight, so I've got to get moving. Check back on here as I'll be trying to use this to update all of you who care about me and what I'm doing. I assume that, since you're reading this, you care. Unless you don't care, in which case, you're probably not reading any of this.